Stuck

I'm stuck. I feel like this is the best way to describe my current position... Actually, this is the best way to describe my current position:

I don't know what to do. After the weekend from hell (including an Ebay screwing, tire issues, and an all too close call with a deer last night*), I feel like it's a sign that I need to change. I wanted to spend my weekend shooting stuff with Bad Genetics in BG. However, I spent my weekend at home due to the aforementioned acts of God. So, now I'm asking myself this question:

What the hell do I do now?

The backstory: I have next weekend off. I took it off so that I could do 48 Hours in BG. I really wanted to do it because I miss that environment. Now, my conflict is whether I should or not. I just honestly don't know whether or not it's appropriate for me to be participating in an event geared towards college kids. It's my new conundrum in relation to working with Bad Genetics and a concern I've had for a while. I'm not a college student anymore. If you really want to place a label on me, I'm not a filmmaker, or a cinematographer, a DP or even a camera op. I'm a Walgreens employee...

I'm kind of rambling, but I'll get to my point. I feel like me doing things like working with Bad Genetics or doing 48 Hours is like a high school football player going to his old coach and wanting to relive his glory years, despite the fact that he's long since graduated. Do you see what I'm saying? Is it appropriate for me to be doing things like working with Bad Genetics or competing the UFO 48 Hour contest? Let me know. Hit me back in the comments of this post and let me know what you think. It'd be great to be able to have some other people's opinions to help make this decision.

In the meantime, I have to try to fix my computer and maybe go see Zach and Miri Make a Porno. As always...

Peace. Love. Joy.

Steve

This week's episode is brought to you by the letter E...

E is for exhaustion. A sense that I quite often feel. For someone who doesn't really do anything, I always seemed wiped. It prolly has something to do with my horrible health habits and practices.

E is also for Ebay. As in the ebay auction that I won last Sunday (upon further review of my email make that last Saturday) for an Audio Technica Shotgun Mic that has yet to arrive at my door. Now, I could understand if this mic were shipping from a shady locale like somewhere in the far east... or Los Angeles, but the seller is actually based out of Middletown right here in the great state of Ohio. So, no boom mic=Steve very unhappy.

But I feel as though it's time to move past all of this and on to the bright and cheery portion of today's show. So here we go. From the Moments of Pure Genius files, we have this little number:

This may look like a sad, morbid scene. My readers, of which there are three of you, but it represents a tremendous breakthrough for me. Ladies and gentlemen... I present my latest brain hurricane: The Funeral Party.

I know what you're saying already. Steve, that's the dumbest fucking shit ever. And it is.

However, it's also totally brilliant. Think about it. I throw my own funeral. All my friends, (of which I think I still have some), they all come over. There's food, booze, everyone's wearing black and people look good in black, and the best part? People talk about how great I am. Eulogies, toasts, and at the end of the night a beautiful stranger will approach the karaoke machine (yeah, there's karaoke at my funeral), she'll take the microphone and this will happen. 

Anyhoo, that's about all I've got for today's program. Two quick notes before I sign off, I added a bunch of stuff to my youtube page. Here's the LINK. Among the highlights would be:

and of course the original film it appeared in:

Lastly, if you haven't done so, fan me on facebook here.

I'm off to tape a show at Frankie's. Be watching YouTube, Vimeo and Facebook for further updates. 

Peace. Hope. Love.

Steve

Life on Mars

It's taken some coaxing, but I've picked blog over sleep tonight. So, I hope you all enjoy a random mess of thoughts. Anyhoo, here we go.

Glub, Glub, Glub...

Last night at work I had the pleasure of dumping out 25 gallons of expired milk. A co-worker approached and wanted to confirm this last fact, all I could think was no, I just really hate cows. All I could say was "Uh-huh." The process of disposing of nature's bounty gone bad gave me time to think. Not about where I've gone wrong in life (I can answer that one easily.) Or what I should be doing. (Answer: Something else.) Or even about my concerns as to whether or not my one connection to LA will bare fruit. Nope. I wasn't thinking about any of those things. All I could think about was... "Wow, milk's a cool looking fluid." How Paliny.

The Titular Line.

So, last Thursday I watched about the first twenty minutes of this new ABC drama called Life On Mars. Here's the concept in an NYPD Blue Minute: Cop gets hit by car, transports to 1973. My family's antenna (yes, we don't have cable here at the rents' house) went out, and the DTV signal dropped and I stopped watching the show. Also, I kind of lost interest when it seemed as though the entire show was just a coma dream of a NY detective in an ICU bed. I was hoping for something more sci-fi and metaphysical/supernatural. Like that he's actually in 1973, that some how his consciousness was transported back in time, but it still maintained a link with his body some thirty-five years in the future. So, that way his actions would have some sort of greater impact than just his own mind.*

If the stakes were raised, I think it would present a host of new and challenging issues to reconcile. For instance, the first reveal that proves to the coma cop that he's in 1973 is the sight of the twin towers. If he was "actually" in 1973, I think it presents a fascinating and incredibly challenging problem to reconcile. How do you deal with knowledge of things like 9/11 or the Oklahoma City bombings, assassinations, or other tragedy. You can't really warn anyone. They'll assume you're crazy or you had something to do with planning it. At the same time, you can't just stand by and do nothing. You're left at a true quandary.

This leads me back to my main point, if the show is just taking place inside the confines of the main characters subconscious, coma stricken mind, then these consequences are arbitrary and it's overarching narrative, characters, etc. seem pointless to me.

Flash Forward

Hello again.

It's been something like eight-nine months since I wrote here. In fact, I even started another blog. We had a short very forgettable affair. I wanted to start producing videos. It didn't really happen. So, I'm moving back here and starting over. 

What's been going on in my life since I last wrote here?

Well, I never did get any of those substitute teaching jobs. Instead, I started working at the Walgreens in Bowling Green full-time. Blech. That's all I can really say. When it comes to retail, I just do it because at this point in my life I need to be working full time and it's there. At least some cool people work there and I enjoy that.

Anyhoo, on with my life...

Well, it hasn't all been two minutes of awkward silence. I've had a very nice birthday celebration, made a return to trip to New York, got to work on an awesome movie, got drunk (at least twice that I can remember), and... that about covers everything.

Nah, there's more. I'm sure there's more. Like in the past two days I've seen two movies. First there was How to Lose Friends and Alienate People starring Simon Pegg, Kirsten Dunst, Megan Fox, and The Dude. It's pretty much your standard romantic comedy... complete with the hilarity of Simon Pegg and some full frontal male nudity. (Well, transexual nudity. But I think that still counts.) I'd give it like 4/5.

The other movie was Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. I enjoyed it... I think. But like its precursor Juno it suffers from the effect of trying too hard to impress its audience. I just felt the entire time that things were forced, a little contrived, and something was just a miss. I hope other people that see the movie can help me to elaborate on this better.

Anyhoo, that's all I've got for now. I have to finish some projects in my room. (Did I mention I live at my parent's house again? I do. Also, ladies- I'm single if that makes a diff.)

Til we meet again.

Demo Reel from Stephen L. Hildreth on Vimeo.

Set it and forget it...

It's been something like 4 months and 13 days since I last updated.

What's happened? Well, I got Guitar Hero 3. That's about it...

That's a lie...

My brother got Guitar Hero 3. All I got was this stupid diploma...

That's also a lie. I haven't gotten the diploma yet. Just a nice holder for it. And a letter from Sidney Ribeau that stated there wasn't enough time to print all the diplomas. Or something like that. I'm sure I can't have it until I pay off all my parking tickets... and library fines. Which I have plenty of. ($20 of the former and $11.25 of the later.)

So, welcome to adult life. It's... well... it's like July at Christmas. It's a throwback to the warm sunshine days of my youth. I have no job, no school, no responsibilities...

That's yet another lie. I still have to pay rent and a credit card bill and utilities and cell phone and... I think that about covers it.

...Oh, food. I have to pay for food.

So, I guess the question here is: How am I going to pay for these things while utilizing the degree I worked so hard to procure. (Cum Laude nonetheless.)

The quick answer was substitute teach. So far, I've applied to Perrysburg, Bowling Green, and Maumee Valley Country Day. It'd be neat to do for a while. Also:


"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."*

*For the love of God, don't let this become featured on a Dateline story. It's a joke.

So, that's what I'll be doing for a while... Hopefully. Substitute teaching by day, making movies, playing Guitar Hero/Rockband/360 in general. Maybe I'll throw in some light reading. But anyhoo.

This is my life. Right now, I'm pretty happy with it.

Yahoo!

The Long Goodbye...

I slept for a very long time today. I mean, there's no real way around that. I had work at 7:30 this morning, nodded off at the videotaping. (I wasn't actually taping, just had to set up wireless mics.) I came home at around 11:30 slept til 2:30, then fell back asleep during the OSU game.

Now, it's 1:45 and I'm kind of worn out again, but I think I'm going to stay up for a while and try to work on my paper that's due Monday. (First amendment theory for policy.)

I didn't follow through on that locks for love thing, mainly because I just needed a change (my hair seemed like a good starting point.) So, I am now finely quaffed, but missing some of my sense of moral responsibility.

The semester's been going well. Really well. Classes are all right, roommates are good, UFO's going great. I started getting involved with Bad Genetics with Grant- doing short films and encouraging Grant to do things. (Like get a theater space for shows.) It's all been good so far.

I'm excited for school to be over with...but at the same time I'm nervous. The next step is an uncertain one. The impending writer's strike in Hollywood (and possibly other sympathy strikes) could put a damper on my plans to move to LA. It's not like I'm going to walk on a lot and find a job. Rather, the contrary, I have no idea what I'm going to be doing for work. But the idea of competing with thousands of people already being displaced from their jobs, makes me a little anxious.

In the meantime, I try not to pay it too much notice. I still have plenty to do before I arrive at the junction where I'll be even heading anywhere outside of our fine state. So, until then I'm gonna focus on the immediate and hope for the best on everything.

Tonight, or early this morning, I leave you all with this final thought: Genuine. It's a simple concept, but one that has alluded me in the past. My new goal is to always, above all other things, be genuine. To be honest, caring, and a compassionate person. And I hope that's true for everyone. To always be forthright, honest, and fair. To consider others, be truthful, and not misleading, but at the same time feel free to share their true feelings, thoughts, and opinions. Basically, what I'm saying is, just say what you mean, and mean what you say.

On that note, I'm off to my paper.

Good night moon.

At a loss...

Today was an uncharacteristically beautiful day. I went outside today to walk to class, and I just remarked to myself that if ever I was searching for what a perfect day would be, then today would not only exemplify it, but define it. There was nary (oh yes, nary) a cloud in the sky. A sky so blue, it looked artificial. Like a blue raspberry Jolly Rancher. Everything had color today. The grass seemed extra green, the trees were a deep contrast of green, and brown and black. Everything about this day was just magnificent to the nth degree.

There once stood a building here.

As I walked home today, I passed Saddlemire. Well, what used to be Saddlemire. Now, the one time pillar of student service is a mere pile of rubble, deconstruction and debris. Just two sets of armed guard patrols short of being our own little demilitarized zone, enclosed by a chain link fence. Well, it's not a demilitarized zone, and it's definitely not a mere pile of rubble. It's slowly being organized into many neat little piles of scrap, waste and debris. There's collectives of scrap metal, walling, concrete and other materials tossed here and there. You have CAT5 cable wound into plates of spaghetti and bits and pieces of stairs scattered about. It's so odd. I think it's actually very fitting- to end my college career at the same time that BG removes a campus landmark, as if it were having a mole or something etched away. But, onward to progress I suppose. With the end of Saddlemire, marked is the beginning of the Wolf Center. Onward and upward.

I've reached a point where I am at a loss for words. I feel as though I've reached a point where I'm not very sure what all I want out of life. I know I like to work around/be involved in/discuss/bitch about/live my life vicariously through film. It's something that makes sense to me. The process, the product, the passion- it's my logic.

Beyond that, I have no idea.

I guess that I'd like to meet someone, but I just don't know how to impact any sort of effect on that want.

Plans don't work. They just don't. Life doesn't follow a plan.

Well, mine doesn't. Not anymore at least.

So, what am I going to do then?

Right now, I'm going to go over and crash land on my bed. I'm going to get up tomorrow, run some errands in the morning, go to work, go home for a little bit, and hopefully come back to BG tomorrow night. Beyond that, I have no idea what can, would, or could happen. And at this point